Alright, it’s time to get serious.

It’s time to figure out what I’m doing with this writing degree that I’ll be spending the next three decades paying for.

What is a legitimate obstacle for me though is I work full-time. Some weeks, more than full-time. So, by the time I get home, I’m too tired to think. I don’ t know how to get around this. The only time that I’m creatively productive is when I’m on vacation from work, which is a few weeks each year.

I am desperate to not waste what I worked so hard for the last three years. But I feel like I have zero time or energy. As I write this, I’m yawning every other minute; my eyes are watering; and I’m pretty much ready to go to bed at any time.

I have to figure out something. I don’t want to waste this. I don’t want to waste this. I don’t want to waste this! You got that, Me?? You’re officially on the clock.

I also don’t read as much as I’d like to for the same reason. So, something has to change.

I wrote a poem yesterday, which makes me feel a little better. But it’s only the tiny beginning of what I really want.

So, I’m actually not new to the blogging thing.

I’ve had a few over the years, plus online journals. Each served its own purpose, such as chronicling the goings-on of my teenaged and college-aged life, giving me an outlet for creativity, showcasing my work, and simply being a conglomeration of reposts and some original posts to facilitate various obsessions. (Yeah, I’m looking at you, Tumblr.)

This one is much different.

It took a while for me to finally start it. First, I wasn’t sure which platform to use or if I wanted it to be free or to pay for it. I probably read about five different lists of “the best” sites that all said WordPress was the way to go, and, of course, there was the .com versus .org lesson to learn. Then, I wasn’t sure what to call the blog or what it would be about. Blogs are supposed to be focused on a main topic, like crafting, cooking, or traveling. Would my broad personal narrative idea be good enough or interesting enough? And third and possibly most important, I wasn’t sure I could commit to it. I didn’t want to go to all the trouble of setting it up if I made a post or two and then forgot about it for the next year. I already have a very full life with work, school, a relationship, family and friends, and hobbies that I don’t have enough time for. Could I make room for a blog too?

Well, I decided that, if it’s that big of a deal to me, I would make room for it. I would just have to rearrange some things. I also am pre-planning a little. I jotted down ideas for posts and themes to explore. And, as a writer who feels the guilt of not writing more often, now I have an objective, and, therefore, a reason to write. So, really, I can write at any time, like I’m doing right now during a lull at work.

I am a little concerned about how I’ll manage once school starts though. School is a huge part of my life that I am determined to successfully finish, and, while I have lots of free time now, I won’t in about three more weeks. (Ugh, summer vacation is almost over…) Not to mention, most of my assignments involve writing, so I’m worried about burnout and feeling like keeping up with the blog is a chore. But if I can post at least once a week during the semesters, I’ll be happy. Plus, I want to challenge myself to maintain a continuous personal writing project. And it’s not like these posts are particularly arduous to write. They’re fairly off-the-cuff, and they might end up being an escape from my assignments.

We shall see where this takes me.